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Foster Love with Your Mother-in-Law: SAMP Guide

Building Bridges, Not Walls: 5 Creative Ways to Foster a Loving Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law

Crafting A Relationship That Last 

At first, navigating my relationship with my mother-in-law felt like threading a delicate needle—. It took us many family meetings over the years and years (10 to be exact) to be in a good place, and I’m so so so proud of where we’ve come- because it was a journey.

But little did we know the principles of SAMP shared by my spiritual gurus—more on this below—have transformed our perspective and ultimately, our relationship. 

Understanding SAMP: A Recipe for Harmony and Peace in the Home

SAMP is more than a set of principles; it’s the guide for our family life everyday moments and challenges. And it does take TWO!
Let’s start with the recipe, which makes sense if we’re thinking about the bigger picture of relationships: 

Sahan karvu (the value of tolerance)

Anukul thavu (the value of being flexible)

Man gamthu mukhvu (the value of compromising/give up what one likes for the good of others)

Pote gasavu (the value of helping out) 

  • Ingredient 1: Sahan
  • Ingredient 2: Dance to a Flexible Tune (Anukul thavu) 
  • Ingredient 3: Paint with Compromise (Man gamtu mukvu) 
  • Ingredient 4: Pote ghasavu

BONUS Ingredient to make your recipe sweeter: Leading by Example 

It may not be easy to take initiative, but practicing these habits like showing gratitude and appreciation can be a good start. Both have to work at increasing: patience, understanding, and support for one another. This has helped shape a positive environment for our kiddos and family, and I know it can for you too!

So let’s explore some practical communication strategies to help navigate relationships.

Relationships can also come with unique challenges especially when it comes to communication with in laws. There can naturally be misunderstandings, disagreements and conflicts- and I know I’m not alone. 

What I’ve found is that COMMUNICATION is a huge key of building and maintaining a healthy relationship with in laws. 

We may all be living under 1 roof, but how often do we sit down and have conversations and get to know each other. I felt like many times that I wasn’t understand just because we didn’t really communicate with each other.

So how can we Communicate better:

  1. Making family time REGULAR part of your routine- it helps provide just a microdose of connection with each other. Is this part of your family routine? Or can you schedule some time to find mutual bonding activities this regularly? 
  2. Actively listening to the other person’s perspectives. In our frustrations, things build up and one of us just blurts out our anger- but its important to approach it in a thoughtful manner- and pro tip- it can be in your family meetings! Reflect on how we can be better listeners and put ourselves in their shoe. 
  3. Expressing your own thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully (saying things like “I feel frustrated when.. ” instead of “you” statements- like “you never understand” or “you always get emotional”) This is not something we may have been taught so we may have to learn or re-learn!
  4. Being willing to find common ground and solutions. At the end, what is the common goal of the relationship? 

By working together to establish boundaries, plan some family time together, and share responsibilities, you can create a sense of teamwork and collaboration within your joint family. This can lead to a more positive and fulfilling living experience for everyone.

The Artistry of Maintaining Relationships

Using the ingredients of S A M P, we’ve transformed potential conflicts into deep connections. This approach has not only strengthened our bond but has become the cornerstone of our family’s happiness and cohesion.

The focus on values and positive relationships in the home has also served as an inspiration behind the Home Shanti Family Meeting Guide and the Indian Cultural Summer Kit (which by the way is available on our website and Amazon!).

For more on this topic, don’t miss our “Chai Chat Series” with mothers-in-law on the Home Shanti YouTube channel for more heartfelt discussions and tips.

I encourage you to have a “family meeting” with your MIL, read/summarize this blog post and talk about it. What did you like? What are things you can takeaway from the principles of SAMP? 

I can’t wait to hear how about how your relationship will become even stronger <3

Wishing you peace and meaningful connections in your own home, 

Home Shanti 🌸

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