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Embracing Family Unity: Our Journey and the Power of “Ghar Sabha”

Embracing Family Unity: Our Journey and the Power of “Ghar Sabha”

summarizing an excerpt from a talk in 2023: “Today, I’m opening up about something incredibly close to my heart—our family journey.”…

Sharing this part of my life is both nerve-wracking and exhilarating. I’ve never spoken about it so openly before, but I feel compelled to do so now because I know this topic resonates with many of you who are navigating similar challenges.

It hasn’t always been easy, and I know that’s true for many of you as well. I often receive DMs from people who have walked in my shoes, and I’ve had countless conversations with women and men who understand the struggles of family dynamics. Speaking about this openly was daunting, but I believe it’s crucial for fostering more honest conversations about family life.

The Journey of “Ghar Sabha” with my Family

My late Guru, Pramukh Swami Maharaj, emphasized the significance of “ghar sabha,” which is akin to what is often referred to as “family meetings” in family books. This practice has profoundly impacted us and has been a cornerstone in empowering parents like myself to foster stronger family bonds.

From House to Home – Inspiring Family Values, Robbinsville, NJ, USA


In a world where constant change is the norm, the values we instill within our families remain our lasting legacy. The “From House to Home: Inspiring Family Values” program, held as part of the Festival of Inspirations in Robbinsville, New Jersey, beautifully captured this essence. 

This event, a significant highlight in the lead-up to the inauguration of the BAPS Swaminarayan Akshardham, focused on the transformative power of family values in turning houses into cherished homes. Through heartfelt speeches, engaging dramas, and shared experiences, attendees were reminded that the strength of a family is built on health, education, and the enduring morals passed down through generations. This gathering of community members and distinguished guests celebrated the importance of positive parenting, spiritual guidance, and the enduring impact of nurturing family bonds.

I had a chance to speak about our personal journey as a family.

Initially, our family meetings were held to discuss issues or conflicts that we had. Over time, we decided to make them a regular part of our family routine to help increase understanding and also teach our kids positive values. Eventually it evolved into amazing discussions that allowed us to learn about each other’s interests and grow together as a family. Here’s a glimpse into what made this process so transformative for us:

Catch Niki Patel’s insightful talk starting at 1:25:36 in the video—don’t miss it!

Catch Niki Patel’s insightful talk starting at 1:25:36 in the video—don’t miss it!

1. Effort to Listen and Understand (Sahan)

This might sound simple, but truly listening to each family member and understanding their perspective can be revolutionary. I remember a time when my mother in law and I had misunderstanding about dishes. During our family meeting, she raised a concern and we took time to listen to everyone’s ideas and concerns- AND come up with a solution. She would be more understanding if I was planning to do it later and I would make a better effort to do dishes. I know it seems little, but sometimes the little things get bigger and bigger. This not only resolved the issue but also made everyone feel heard and valued.

Tip: Practice “listening” where each person can share their thoughts without interruption and defensiveness. It’s a great way to foster empathy and open communication.

2. Flexibility and Adaptability (Anukul Thavu)

We often are so fixed on what WE think is right. Sometimes is about being flexible, and adaptable to the other persons schedules, needs and wants. My guru used to say, “One who becomes accommodative [anukul] and gives up his wilful resolves [man dharya muke] then he becomes happy. However, if he believes that he is right then he will never ever be happy. Ghar sabha enables one to understand others and accept what they say.”

Tip: Talk about how each member can be “flexible and accommodate” each other in your family routines.

3. Compromise (Man Gamtu Mukvu)

Compromise is key to harmony. My husband and I had a situation where two of us wanted different vacation destinations. We compromised by choosing a location that had elements of both preferences. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a solution that made everyone happy.

Tip: Practice finding “middle ground” solutions where possible. It helps in maintaining balance and ensuring that everyone feels their needs are considered.

4. Support with Love and Care (Pote Ghasavu)

Helping each other out with genuine care strengthens family bonds. During a tough time when I was overwhelmed with work, my family stepped in to sacrifice their own personal time and take over some of my responsibilities. Their support not only relieved my stress but also reinforced our mutual care for each other.

Tip: Encourage acts of kindness within the family. Simple gestures of support, like cooking a meal for someone who’s busy or taking care of household chores, can make a big difference.

These principles start with us. By embracing these values, we can cultivate stronger, more harmonious family relationships and raise kids with family values.

 For those of you looking to take this journey further, we have two guides available on Amazon and the Home Shanti website: “Summer Cultural Kit” and “Family Meeting Guide” These resources are designed to help empower parents and support your family’s growth and unity.

I hope that by sharing our story, more families will be inspired to try “ghar sabha” or dedicate time for family meetings. The transformation it has brought to our family has been incredible, and I truly believe it can make a positive difference in yours as well. 🧡

Remember, with Home Shanti, you’re never alone on this journey.

Sending smiles and connection your way,

Niki at Home Shanti 🌸

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