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As M and I approach 20 years of being in a relationship, we have quite a few lessons learned! No one ever really warns you that preparing for life together is about more than just planning the Marriage. At Home Shanti, we see this preparation as an opportunity to create a foundation built on love, shared values, and lasting communication.
One of the biggest lessons we learned early on was how vital open communication is in a relationship. We started doing what I now call “marriage meetings,” or evening walks, where we’d talk with no distractions (not even phones!) and really talk—about everything. From how we would handle finances to our hopes for family dynamics, nothing was off the table. I remember one evening when we spent hours talking about what we wanted our future home to feel like.
These conversations became the bedrock of our relationship. We created a safe space where both of us could express ourselves.
We started doing family meetings in our home. This simple habit of weekly meetings allowed us to practice listening, understanding, and respecting each other’s perspectives. Today, we still carry forward the same principles into our marriage, and it’s something we want to pass on to our kids—teaching them the power of communication and family values through family meetings.
We also took time to explore the traditions we grew up with and how we wanted to incorporate them into our lives as a couple. For me, it was important to keep my cultural roots alive, especially when it came to future celebrations and activities with our children. Whether it’s organizing children’s busy activities at home during Diwali or incorporating spiritual or cultural traditions, it was crucial that we find a balance that honors both our backgrounds.
At Home Shanti, we encourage families to build their own meaningful traditions, just like we did. It doesn’t have to be perfect—what matters is the intention. For us, traditions like family prayers or a simple evening gratitude practice have become a way to keep us connected and grounded as a family.
Life can get busy, with the demands of work, home, and family often piling up. We knew early on that the key to a successful marriage would be sharing these day-to-day responsibilities. One of the most valuable parts of our week is having clear conversations about how we would divide household tasks, manage finances, and balance our work with family life. This is a core part of our family meeting time.
These discussions give us confidence, knowing that no one person would carry the mental load alone. We also talked about the type of home we wanted to create—a space where everyone contributes, and responsibilities are shared in a way that fosters harmony and support. We even joked about creating a “family chore chart” someday when we have kids—something that might actually happen soon!
Balancing responsibilities is essential for creating a home. By sharing day-to-day tasks, we foster a sense of equality and teamwork in the home, something we hope to model for our children.
While managing responsibilities is important, marriage also thrives on emotional connection. It’s easy to focus on logistics and forget that emotional support is just as crucial. Early on, we made a commitment to check in with each other emotionally, ensuring that we both felt supported, especially during challenging times. It’s not just about splitting tasks—it’s about being present for each other when it matters most.
I’ll never forget one particularly hectic week when I felt completely overwhelmed. My partner saw how stressed I was, reminded me to take breaks, and took over some of the tasks I normally managed. It wasn’t just the practical help that made a difference—it was knowing that they saw my emotional state and cared enough to lighten my load. This emotional support strengthened our bond and made me feel understood.
Cultivating emotional connection in a relationship is essential for building a nurturing home. By offering each other this kind of support, we’ve built resilience in our marriage and ensured that we can weather life’s ups and downs together.
As we discussed our future, we began to think about the family we would build together. For us, marriage isn’t just about two people—it’s about creating a lasting family legacy. We talked about how we would raise our children, the traditions we’d pass down, and how we’d teach them values like respect and kindness. These conversations were not just practical but deeply emotional, as they allowed us to dream about the life we wanted to build.
A strong family legacy is built on a foundation of shared values, love, and cultural awareness. By engaging in these thoughtful discussions, we set the stage for a home where our children would grow up with a deep sense of belonging and connection.
Building a family legacy is about more than what you pass down—it’s about the love and values you nurture on a daily basis. By engaging in these conversations early on, we set the stage for a future filled with connection and purpose, and we hope you’ll be inspired to do the same.
If you’re ready to create a strong foundation for your marriage or family, the Home Shanti Family Meeting Guide can be a powerful tool to help you get started. It’s designed to support open communication, promote values-centered parenting, and help manage the mental load that comes with family life. Whether you’re navigating life as a family, this guide offers practical steps to help you build meaningful connections and foster a home filled with peace, love, and unity. Let’s make those family meetings a time of connection, learning, and growth—together. 🌸
Looking back on these pre-marriage meetings, I realize just how vital they were in helping us build a strong partnership. They gave us the tools to communicate, share responsibilities, and create a future filled with love, respect, and tradition.
Wishing you peace, love, and a future filled with meaningful moments of connection. 🌸